life and craze ...

The last lap

2012-02-02T22:24:00.003+08:00

Ahhh, currently have so many assignments on hand that is stressing me out ...

NSS and N&P assignments to be submitted and demonstrate next week. FYP final report & progress report & PowerPoint slide to be hand up before this Sunday for teacher to check as we are having the final interview on Wednesday, yes, Wednesday together with the CSM presentation. And I have to prepare the PowerPoint slide for CSM presentation too ... and and , TNP report next next week :((((((

Final quiz for NSS quiz will be soon and semester paper for N&P will be on 28 Feb ..

Worst thing of all, I have a medical check-up at KTPH on 13 Feb which is a Monday -.- ... well , this is my final lap and after that will be graduation and army.

I'm gonna miss everyone definitely, it's been a very meaningful 3 years.. although sometimes I'm unhappy, but they are what made me looking forward to school everyday :)

So near yet so far.

2012-02-01T00:38:00.006+08:00

Dad got the wrong idea today, he thought my idea of moving out is moving out alone because I don't want to take care of him anymore ....

It's not that dad. The main reason for wanting to move out is because I'm worried about you .... who knows? Uncle is so impulsive and sometimes he might think that you're going against him. What if really one day, both of you quarrels, shouts, fights and,,, blood? I'm really afraid and those feelings of being scared is making me tired, pushing me to the limit ....

And it's not just only this problem.... every time when I'm at home in the noon or after school, his music really affects my mood and I'm really tired, tried to sleep it off and it only gives me more headache. How can I continue my studies at home. That's why I had always been avoiding coming home early ... during exams period, I went out to study outside because I can be more focused. Who says I don't like to be at home? I'd really loved to ...

I had always envy my friends whenever I go to their house... feeling the warmth of their family and everything .. I know dad is not an expressive person and keeps everything to himself too ... but dad, remember .. you got me and sis, always here taking care and loving of you alright?

Mum's already gone and... I'm really afraid of losing you ... do you know how much I love you? I kept everything to myself all these years because I'm afraid to make you worried, upset you and trouble you ... I don't want such stuffs to affect your health..

All I want is to move out, with just the 3 of us... as a family, taking care of and loving each other... I guess really need to find a day to tell you how I really feel ... but in front of you and sis, I just can't bring myself to say it all out .. maybe I'm too used to keeping everything from you all .. shall try to change this side of me ..

Your smile is my everything.

2012-01-31T01:04:00.007+08:00

Hello! First post on my blog since a very looooooong time ago... I bet I don't have any loyal readers anymore hahaha :)

Today was a really really tired day, I really hate mondayys! Lessons from 8am - 5pm :( I keep dozing off during the 8am lecture, should have just skip since I have almost perfect attendance zzz -.- . But well, all lessons today are the tired ones, might as well skip all if I skipped the first.

So I'm back home, I can feel some small changes changes in dad ... but it's the little things that counts, right? He asked me if I wanna go overseas, Shanghai , Hong Kong or which ever I choose. Asking me when I graduate and stuff, at least there's communication now. But still, I'm still more hoping on move out into a new environment, can be in Singapore .. Just, move out of this house because I'm really tired and afraid.. but can't rush into things I guess. I noticed he smokes lesser today, hopefully it will be better for his health too. :) And there's one time when he suddenly remembered what I told him and he went into the kitchen to smoke lol.

But well... no matter what he do, he's still my dad. I love him always like how I always do...

Watched 3 Idiots today as recommended by sis, great movie although its in Indian and the movie is near 3 hours. Very inspirational, might watch again sometime when I'm free! :D